Homemade? Store Bought? Or Not.

There’s a client who I work with very regularly and it’s become like a 2nd office to me. It’s great because working from home can get pretty lonely, and the alternative “shopping out of boredom” can get me in too much trouble. So when I’m bored or need some adult contact, I head over to his office.

The staff there is…..uh….eclectic. That’s pretty much the only word I could think of that says it subtly.  There is one boy? man? there who is in his early 30’s and married with one 6 year old son.  For the purpose of this story, we will call him “John”.

John earns a good salary from his job. Lives in a nice home in a nice neighborhood.  John’s wife is a pleasant woman (who should be sainted for all that she puts up with.) John is a a nice guy really, but he’s just so damn loud all the time, so nervy and SO…..cheap. Economical?

Here’s a for instance:

Someone came by the building during the course of one night and put in the dumpster boxes of  books. Cookbooks, fitness books, reference books.  John saw the books there (why someone checks dumpsters is beyond me, but that’s not the point.) and brought about a dozen of them in.  He then proceeded to take a roll of wrapping paper from my office and had an office assistant wrap all those books. 

To recap:

1. John is giving his wife used, dirty cookbooks, fitness books and reference books for Christmas? If you met her you would know that while she loves to cook…fitness is the last thing on her mind.
2. John took MY wrapping paper, without asking me?
3. What part of these gifts came from John, besides sorting through garbage? He couldn’t even wrap them and  had a co-worker do it for him.

And the reason I even wrote this post at all was because of today’s event.

Today John brought in some of his wife’s home baking.  He does it pretty often, which is very nice.  The baking ranges from muffins, to cake and my personal favorite, cookies.  Before today I never questioned if she did actually make these things.  After hearing about his Christmas book extravaganza I now wonder where these treats come from.

The cookies he brought to the office today were Ginger Snaps. He came over to me and the gentleman I work for with a sandwich bag of 4 cookies. He asked us to share them and walked away. I looked at those cookies. Tasted one. They really were awesome. Then I looked at them again. And I laughed. There is no way she made these cookies.

All four cookies could be perfectly stacked. All equal in shape, roundness, thickness, flatness. Completely even in color with not one having any overcooked edges or blemish. Not one crack or split on the surface. The bottoms were perfectly clear of any pan marks, burns or cookie debris. They were amazingly soft, even though they were cold. None of the crumbliness of home baked cookies.

So I wonder to myself, (yes I was a gossip and wondered it out loud to my client as well as the book keeper) what is the real deal behind these cookies and the other treats he brings in?  Did these come from a dumpster?  Did he mooch them out of someone else’s office?  Cause I am telling you….NO HUMAN MADE THESE COOKIES BY HAND, BY SLICE AND BAKE OR FROM SCRATCH!

And now that I think about it even further, this office building is approximately 1/4 of a mile from a well known cookie and cracker factory.  Need I say more?