Mom Blog Network – What Moms Are Talking About

Hi Everyone- I am new here and I need help!

I just moved back home after being away for a year. I was pregnant as soon as I moved and after I gave birth we moved back home. Things got hectic in our relationship- we are young and have been together 4 years (day after Valentines Day) We recently broke up because of the distance between us..we stopped having sex after the baby because of all the stress, he did not have a job and cant find one and the fighting is just non-stop. It broke my heart into a million pieces because I never thought we would break up, especially after everything we hav ebeen through and now have a baby...we have broken up in the past but this time he moved out and doesnt seem to want any relationship at all. I thought I was going to marry this boy and have a million more babies! (Im a hopeless romantic sometimes) I know I need to get my life together and get a job to support the baby and myself (with his help of course) and kinda focus on me before we could form a base of a relationship but I dont know if there is any advice from Moms who have been through these types of hard times before with their boyfriends/husbands etc.
I love him so much and I know he loves me so much but his hope for us is just low right now and I dont know if there is something I could do to say im sorry ive been kind of crazy lately and moody (I was also breastfeeding) I do want to change and Ive backed off from him, try not to bug him or complain he is going out with friends/family and he just feels like the best thing is distance and if we both make the changes then there is a good chance we could get back together in the future. I just dont want him to continue to slip away from me.
I wrote him a letter a few days ago and gave it to him yesterday explaining how sorry I am that Ive been not meeting his needs and been kinda hormonal but I also explained why...I know young love is hard, but how could he want to just give it all up? We had something so great going and I know its hard for him not being able to provide til he finds a job and everything else and I know he needs his space and Ive tried to ask for a relationship without being so attached and he says I should do my own thing and time will tell if ive made changes and if hes made changes. He is as sick as a dog (home in bed sleeping with a fever, NOT like him) and hasnt said anything to me about the letter so I dont know if he liked it or didnt like it or if he even read it yet...
All I can do is think about him and I look at my son and all I can do is be sad for him, sad for us...I am heartbroken. I know couples go through rough times and eveyone I have talked to says he just needs to kinda do his thing and just hang in there and be tough and get a job and kinda show him that you can be strong but its just so hard!
Valentines Day is next week and I wanted to do something fun where its just us too (we havnt been on a date in foreverrrr!) I dont know, Ladies (Or guys!) is there any advice that you have for me if youve been in this situation before? I just want him to know how sorry I am and that I dont want to just give up and walk away from him. Some days Im okay and I try so hard to get through the days and others I get over emotional and cry and Im upset ALL day. I know he is sad because I can see it on his face when he comes to visit the baby at my house and I know once the baby starts staying at his house without me there its going to be sad for him too.