Mom Blog Network – What Moms Are Talking About

Well, I'm not living in America. So things may be a bit different.

My mom told me the day before the wedding that there was no need to worry. "It" would happen the way it was supposed to happen. And my groom was told (in another room) to take it easy.
I was so lucky we both had a university education and knew a couple of things. LOL!

So the past isn't always good.
Maybe it was easy.

My gram taught me to stay myself, under all circumstances.

That wise lesson I taught my children too.
Whatever you see and whatever you have to deal with, know yourself as far as you can, know your values, and act accordingly.

Depression isn't caused by seeing porn, by seeing nice photos of slim girls or heavily boobed women.
Depression is caused
1. by neurobiological and/or hormonal disbalance(s)
2. by certain styles of thinking
3. by certain circumstances, the way a person reacts to them.

Teenage depression is very dependent on the culture a teen lives in.

In some societies it's clear that there is not enough unconditional love given to a child/teenager. They have to fulfill so many wishes of the parents, the school, society, that it seems that what they achieve is more important than being a good person and just being oneself.
Everyone needs love to grow emotionally.
So many parents work and because they have to live up to all sorts of rules.. workinghours, extra work, being on call etc. there is a hidden message to a child: you're not as important as work, as the boss, as co-workers.
Have a look in the shoppingcentre.. How many times parents are called. Do you see many parents swtiching their phones off when they are with the kids?

Feeling second best for a long time and often is an understandable cause of depression in young people.

In some societies the relationship with peers in puberty is stressed too much.
When a child grows up, understanding that he or she is a unique individual, has his or her own unique individual needs, talents, characteristics, and in order to be a happy person one needs to stay unique, there is not as much need to compare oneself with others during puberty and later in life.
So this child/teenager/adult is less prone to the feeling that he or she can't live up to all sorts of images, and thus less prone to depression.

Ofcourse I deal with the same images in magazines and other media.
It meant to me that I wanted to inform them about relationships between people, dealing with ones body, etc. at an early age.
Children see and hear things so very early nowadays that it's important to shape their feelings and thoughts in a responsible way.
Knowing that people make individual choices, and that not all choices need to be ours to make, they experience a distance between what they see and their own life.

Ofcourse they can like a certain dress, a certain song, but that doesn't mean they have to like the person in the dress or singing that song.
OK, they saw a belly button and wanted a short T-shirt. One time walking like that in the rain and wind made them understand it isn't very convenient clothing.
All I need to do is make them understand they have to make the choices themselves, and they can talk with me about those choices anytime.

When people have other values, want to make an exhibition out of themselves... it's their life.
But normal people like us save certain behaviour for the special one person in our lives.
No need to copy it.

So I won't cover their eyes.
I tell them they can make the choice not to look at it.

It's not the images that tell children how to behave, it's what we teach them and how they make their decisions.

Well, that's how i see it.