no sex...no problem!
MamaRose posted 17 weeks 5 days ago — First of all I'd like to thank MY BLOG DIRECTORY for making me their featured blog of the day. Welcome to those of you visiting my site for the first time. For those of you who keep a blog of your own, you should register your blog with them. They have generated more traffic to my site than any of the other blog networks I am registered with.
I would also like to thank all of you who have recently left me notes, comments and emails. I REALLY appreciate it when a reader takes a moment to give me their perspective on things. I am sorry if I don't always reciprocate, it's just lack of time. Surely you can understand.
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Again, a tad bit blue today. It's not depression, it's an empty feeling I can't put my finger on. Sometimes when the weather changes this happens to me. Especially when summer turns to fall. I don't think it's post partum, which I have been told by a BLOGGER FRIEND (Michelle, thank you so much for all of your emails and comments) is still possible even at this late six month stage. I had read that and it did occur to me, but I don't think I'm depressed, I just feel "off".
It's been hard for me to accept the inevitable truth that I will not always have the time or opportunity to be able to accomplish everything I want to on a daily basis.
I try to remind myself to focus on the baby and not worry about the other "stuff". Before I know it he'll be ready to go to preschool and I will be missing him during the day, so enjoy him and be present. But I'm craving a block of time to finish a book or even a magazine and it's just not happening.
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My sex drive has till not returned so when my husband told me, "No sex this week", because it's Greek Easter this Sunday, I was like, "No problem!" A bit relieved actually. Sometimes I wonder if it's my drive or his lack of effort in that department. What once was a passionate and reciprocal sex life has turned into lay down on the sofa and let me stick it in.
I know he's tired, I'm tired too, but I'm really tired of the sofa and laying on my side. I'm always trying to suggest different positions and locations but he is content to stay on the couch. He calls it his "office".
I realize that in writing this I'm betraying him, and believe me it weighs heavily on me. In fact whenever I write anything that may reflect negatively on him I feel bad. But I also know that I need a place the be able to express myself and unfortunately I don't always feel that my marriage is the place to do this.
A handful of my readers suggested marriage therapy. I would be all for it, but I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that he would not go for it.
Believe me I have tried to find a way to approach the subject of our sex life but I always fall short when it comes to finding the right words to use without crushing his ego, so I don't bother to say anything because right now, the truth is, our sex life is the LAST thing I'm worried about. When you have a baby he comes first. All of your priorities are set on keeping him fed, changed and happy.
I just never imagined this happening to me. I have always been such a sexual person. I hope this changes as the baby grows up and is sleeping better through the night and me and my husband have more time together.
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Definitely going to get out for a walk today it is simply gorgeous outside. Yesterday I did go out for a walk even though I said I was going to stay in, and I felt so much better afterwards.
I love to go shopping at the local healthfood store. I'm there almost every day now. I have my baby on a strictly organic diet, and am trying to eat as many organic foods as I can as well to ensure that his breastmilk isn't full of toxins.
Also changing the way I clean the house to a green way of cleaning and I feel so good about this. My other site,
ECO MAMA illustrates all of the changes I'm making and the research I'm doing to begin living a green lifestyle. I'm proud of these changes.
Well I'll wrap it up now before baby wakes up because I have a bunch of things to finish up around the house before we head out.
Have a great day, and drop me a line will you? I wonder sometimes who is reading me but am not hearing from so many of you. Introduce yourself, please.
Love Rose
As someone who has struggled with depression, I've often thought that the depression was the period of sadness I would go through, but now that I've paid more attention, I believe that the period of sadness is just a precursor to the actual depression, which is when I feel "empty" and "hopeless." So maybe you are depressed?
Hi Rose, I completely understand where you are coming from......My oldest is 6 and my youngest is almost 2 and I still have those days where I just feel off and can't put my finger on exactly why....I think that sometimes it reflects up from deeper places of thoughts or concerns but we don't have the time to really focus on it or them...When I feel "off" which is exactly how I describe it myself, I sometimes try to "feel deeper" or look inside as to why I feel this way or to see where it is coming from....sometimes I am able to pinpoint and re-shape my thoughts about whatever "it" may be and other times I can't determine the source of my "offness" and just hope it wears off by the next day. I think that also when we have newborns or just new babies and we are nursing and all that goes with the responsibilities of having children we are so off kilter from lack of sleep, juggling life as we once knew it (which is pretty much completely out the door), to still trying to be a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend, and OH YEAH, what about ME?? We too need time to re-load, decompress, and get some quiet alone time so that we can be re-charged to keep dishing out from our cup that isn't supposed to ever empty.....but guess what??! it does get empty and we are the ones responsible for re-filling it and we can only do that if we make the time to make that happen. Good luck and, oh, I am so new here I just signed up and saw your post and totally identified! Hope to visit again soon :-)
Gabrielle
healthythoughtsandactions.blogspot.com