the dos/don’ts of surviving preschool camp
CK posted 28 weeks 2 days ago —
DO sign your child up.
DO NOT sign yourself up.
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DO pick a camp t-shirt that “fits.”
DO NOT grab a child’s M for yourself, even though it looks closest to your size. It will shrink after washing, which not only makes you look totally 90’s, it encourages impromptu rounds of the “belly button” game while you’re trying to get a headcount.
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DO pump the kids up for song time.
DO NOT sit in front of them during the “whistle” song.
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DO enforce mandatory potty breaks between all activities.
DO NOT sit behind 14 children during story time, even though they swore they used the toilet. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself if you’re caught downwind…
Speaking of downwind, DO NOT let Big Potty initiate shoeless story time. 14 pairs of 4 year-old feet reek when they’ve been without socks all day long. All of this together = bad news for you.
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DO praise and encourage all children within your group. This week is about them, not you. Even though you plan to leave these memories at the camp, they take theirs with them.
DO NOT be surprised when other kids like you and ask to sit on your lap.
DO NOT be surprised when it feels like cheating on your own kid.
DO NOT be surprised at the twinge of sadness because your lap was available in the first place due to the teenage girl’s lap your child picked over yours.
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DO get suspicious the moment all 14 children are quiet on the playground.
DO race over before your daughter cries out, “Mama! Come here, quick!”
DO NOT ever underestimate the compassion of little kids. It’s not always trouble or bleeding or silly. Sometimes it’s a baby bird that fell out of a nest. A tiny, little, hairless thing that has to be moved because the tree is in the center of the playground.
And after you’ve raced around with this thing in a cup and found someone to take it to a nature reserve, DO NOT be taken off guard when your daughter leads the other kids in hugging you.
DO admit that, dangit, KathyB! was right.
There’s nothing like being a hero in front of your daughter and 13 other children you wouldn’t mind seeing again.
Just NOT all at one time.
And definitely NOT at your house.
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©2009 CEK. All Rights Reserved. Touch my stuff and my army of 14 will be marching your way. I will let them loose in your house and you will beg for mercy.
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