Mom Blog Network – What Moms Are Talking About

luluhart posted 24 weeks 2 days ago — Many of you, my long-time readers, may remember a post I did on JJ's blog (my other blog) regarding baby showers. If you haven't read it yet then click here.
I used to love going to baby showers. I remember as a little girl that my grandma would take my sister and I to the Lion Store and let us pick out our own gift for the baby. We would then take the escalator to the top floor and pick out gift wrap with matching bows. Grandma would always take us with her to the shower and we would usually end up helping pass out the prizes to party-goers.

These days, I still like going to baby showers (as long as they aren't mega-showers - ha). I love seeing the little outfits and the matching nursery pieces with fuzzy warm blankets. I like to see people's creativity and the gifts they have hand-made. I mean, isn't that really what showers are all about, showering the hostess with gifts and celebrating a new life coming into this world? Baby showers, much like wedding showers, are meant to prepare a new mother (or bride) by giving them the items they will need to properly take care of their new baby. Having a baby is expensive and having a shower will relieve the parents-to-be of stress associated with the financial impact they will soon be facing.

All that being said...what about second or (gasp!) third baby showers? [And by shower I mean a full-blown, 20+ person party, with games and prizes, and a gift registry] If a person has a shower for baby #1, is it ok to have a shower for subsequent babies? I am going to throw myself to the wolves and say that I do not believe in any shower beyond the first.

First of all, if you have a shower for the first baby, shouldn't you have all the real necessities for raising a baby? Crib - check, stroller - check, high chair - check. The list goes on and on. What? You sold all of baby #1's furniture on E-Bay? Not your friend's (or family's) problem! These items can be passed from baby to baby and it shouldn't be necessary to have brand new stuff for each child. If a parent wants new stuff for any baby beyond the first, they should be in a position to buy this for themselves.

There are of course exceptions to the one baby shower rule. For example, you had a healthy baby 3 years ago and just found out you are pregnant with twins. Well, by all means, have a shower. You only have enough stuff for one baby and will definitely need more! Friends to the rescue! Or, perhaps you have one child and thought you were done. Ten years later - hello! Baby on the way! Again - by all means, have a shower. [Note: this does not include people who are having babies the entire 10 years, there must be 10 years between babies 1 and 2].
The bottom line is this...people are excited for you. You are having a new baby and this is awesome, amazing. And many people will be buying you gifts upon their first visit to see the baby. But it's not fair to expect people to come to any shower beyond the first. Everyone who came to the first shower has done their part in helping you build your family and now it is time for you to buy the things you feel are necessary for the next addition. A shower is about celebrating a new life, not about getting your friends and family to buy you stuff you want.

If you do insist on having shower, how about a diaper party where the guests all bring diapers and wipes as gifts instead of something off of a registry. Or how about a clothing only shower? Hey - I am a mother too and realize that clothes don't last forever. All guests could bring clothes for the new baby, and this option could be even sweeter if you knew the gender of the child. Another option could be to have a luncheon with friends. A small (under 10 people) lunch or dinner where friends and family celebrate with the expectant mother would be another great idea. These options seem much less intrusive and I think I could even break my own rule and attend something like this.