10 Reasons BabyCrunch Sucks

babycrunch posted 36 weeks 2 days ago — Yup, you heard it here first. BabyCrunch sucks according to one of my pals. This buddy of mine randomly throws out his bits of wisdom as nonchalantly as any guy would say, "American Idol" and/or "Dancing with Stars sucks". With the later I would agree, without inquiry in to why but in this case I had to ask why he thought BabyCrunch sucked. Of course this statement is coming from a single guy whose life consists mainly of going to work, playing Xbox and trying to convince me to tag along with him on the weekend to singles bars and of course watching him strike out on chicks. He may not be in our readers demographics by I really wanted him to tell me why our site sucked.

His top 10 reasons are:

I don't get it

Is that a question or a statement? It's quite simple, Big Mamma (the wife/co-author) likes to write and I'm (me=Dad2B) a web developer. We thought doing a blog together would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone. Unfortunately we couldn't come up with a general theme that we could agree upon until Big Mamma got knocked up. She has the perspective of being pregnant and I have my own so why not share both on our suck-worthy blog. Pretty simple.

You're titles suck (the same ole adjective)

Really? I thought some of them were pretty clever and accurate
Reuniting With My Boobs (classic title)
I am a Walrus (not quite yet)
Hot Yoga Farts (it happens)
Cranky & Crafty (yup, she is)
Is It Baby or Bowels? (it could be both)
A “Pee-Stick” speaks a thousand words (duh)
So Meaty: How not to raise your children (reference joke)
Breast feeding gone wrong (not the greatest title but anything about breasts is a good title)
Pin the pee-pee on the baby (ouch)
Holy-Baby-Turds: Elimination Communication (no comment)

You don't say anything on the "About Us" page

Of course we do but it's short and sweet. Actually Big Mamma has never inquired in to this. For me, well lets say, I'm a bit hesitant to reveal my identity to strangers (that's you). In truth, I haven't thought of anything clever to say. Maybe I should just post this post under "About Us."
Who's Big Mamma and who's Dad2B
BigMamma = wife, temporary 9 month host, and impending mother. By the way BM is not really big she just likes the name Big Momma. I think the name makes her giggle.
Dad2B = me, guy, sperm donor, dad to be (clever) and neurotic in keeping his identity a secret

You use fragmented, incomplete sentences and misspell words

Hey, I'm an art major and I don't really care if my sentence structure sucks and my spelling is horrific. I probably won't even proof read or spell check this post. By the way, no one probably reads our blog...remember it "sucks!"
Nobody besides impending grandparents care to see your ultrasound photos
You might be right on this point. But did you see the size of that thang? Wholly-COW!!!

You're humor articles are not that funny

Yes they are! you just don't have a sense of humor. My article about Dr. Z Gyno Extraordinaire is brilliantly funny.

Who would buy anything off your storefront?

My wife would. You should see all the new baby crap we have acquired through Big Mamma's individual purchases and/or through her baby showers. I think we have some cool stuff on our storefront and it's guaranteed by Amazon. Wait a minute, have you seen our custom gear? Very popular among single men. How come you don't have one?

Who cares about Murphy?

He is our test child. The wife wanted a baby so we compromised with a dog. I didn't really want a dog and was very hesitant about getting one because I knew it would be a big responsibility and would possibly cause problems to a lifestyle that I was accustomed to. Boy was I wrong, I couldn't adore anything more. Getting a dog before having kids is a great idea in my book. It's extremely good practice for things to come. Since he is our first-born, he just seems natural to include him in our posts. If you don't like Murphy then we don't like you!

Who would read your blog?

He must have since he was able to come up with ten reasons. Beside trying to keep family and friends up-to-date of our current status maybe some one like myself who was never really ga-ga over babies for the majority of his life and is now waiting hesitantly for the wife to pop. Or maybe some one like my wife who wanted a way to creatively document the experiences she is going through and share with others who are going through similar things during the course of a pregnancy. The site is about two different perspectives (man/woman) during the pregnancy and birth of their first child.

There you have it, ten reasons why BabyCrunch.com sucks according my friend. Do you agree?